February 4, 2009

Are You Serious!!!????

So being in my 30's and single, I have to admit I have been on quite a few dates. I have had some great ones(taking the scenic route to Santa Cruz at midnight in a convertible, still tops my list) some pretty good ones(double dating with my sis to Great America) and then some seriously laughable,tear inducing, "is this guy serious?" not so good ones. I just wanted to share one that happened about 8 months ago. I met a guy online(I know, but I am just keeping up to date with the times)and we seem to hit it off pretty good. We emailed each other for almost 2 weeks and he seemed to get my humor and vice versa. Well, he finally asked me out and we decided to meet at Thanksgiving Point. It seemed to go rather smoothly right off the bat, so I was thinking this was going to be pretty great! We ate dinner first and then he suggested we go for a walk, so I told him about a little hike that would take us to a really pretty waterfall, right by my house. The hike started out well and the conversation was good. I think my first red flag came when we were almost at the top and I was in front of him trying to get up a small hill, when suddenly, he smacked me on my bum and said "keep movin!". "Are you serious!?" Now, I know he meant that to be fun and maybe flirty, but come on, a booty smack an hour into the date? So we got to the top and were chillin for a little bit and then headed down. I had a thing of water with me from dinner and we were both sipping from it during the walk. We got down to my car and he took the water cup from me and was started to flick water at me. Now I am all for being playful, but he was getting a little annoying with it. So I go to open my door and I turn around and he proceeds to spit water in my face...no you read that correctly, he spit water, right in my face! I sorta have a half shocked, half ticked off look on my face as I wipe the water off and go to get in my car! This guy is laughing thinking he is so funny! He goes to open his door finds that I locked the doors. For a second, I considered leaving this guy to hitch hike his way back home, but unfortunately I wasn't that mean! So I am doing the courtesy laugh and smile and hit the unlock button. At this point, I am thinking I will just drive him back to where we met, and this will be all over. As I start driving, he begins asking me about my parents. I tell him a little bit and tell him I was currently living with them! He surprises me by asking me to meet them! I thought he was joking, but he keeps pushing it. I should have said they went to bed early on weekends, but I guess I was flattered that he wanted to meet them and well my parents are pretty cool to talk to, so I decided why not. It would be quick and painless right? We arrive at my parents house and go and sit on the couch and I introduce him. The conversation seems to be going well, we are just chit chatting about stuff when out of the blue, this guy just starts rubbing my back! So somehow from the hike to my house, we have passed the innocent getting to know you phase to "this guy wants to announce our engagement?" Oh brother! So I am like looking at him with the "take your hands off me" look and he just keeps rubbing me talking away like we have been dating for months. I just keep smiling not trying to make it awkward. So the most classic part came when my date would ask my parents questions and if I spoke up to explain something before my parents did, my date would look at me and say "Did I ask you the question?"..."no!"..."you need to stop interupting them!"

Are you serious? He was scolding me AT MY PARENTS HOUSE!!! I mean my mom was even taken back by it! I finally had enough and excused ourselves to end the date. We got back to our meeting point and I said goodbye and as I go to give him a quick side hug, he has the nerve to try and nuzzle my neck!! Yeah, I sent him out the door pretty fast after that! Needless to say, his calls and emails were never returned.

Now, I don't expect perfection, and I can take a joke, but come on, what ever happened to manners and being a gentlemen?

So maybe from now on when I get asked the question " Erin, why aren't you married?", I will simple have to say to people...read my blog! :)

2 comments:

Lauren February 5, 2009 at 7:21 AM  

That is hilarious!! I seriously can't believe it either. Did he think spitting water at you was going to be sexy??? But next time, please don't take an internet date to the top of a secluded mountain. A butt slap? Really?

Melissa February 5, 2009 at 8:24 PM  

Internet dates should be kept in public places AT ALL TIMES!!! Don't break that rule again! You should have slapped him in the face and then laughed like it was just in fun:)

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